Tag Archives: autism travel

A trip not taken is sometimes the smartest travel plan

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Sometimes the smartest travel plan is to choose NOT to travel. In parenting, and particularly with autism parenting, you have to decide that a trip will be too hard to accomplish at this time. It’s not that you’re giving up on the idea, it’s just that right now, not everyone in your family can travel a great distance.

I know my son has the ability to manage a 5 hour flight, but at this time, a 10 hour flight, no. As you may recall, we’ve traveled to one of our favorite therapist’s weddings in Canada two summer ago, and just that distance within North America was a very big challenge for us. When a close friend decided to get married in Cornwall, England, I had mixed emotions about how to accomplish this outing with children in tow.

National Trust seaside park, Cornwall. Celtic Sea in the distance.

Originally, I had planned to take my entire family and then discovered that expense prohibited that choice. Then, I thought I would just take my son who loves British history and then the length of the trip to London and then to Cornwall just seemed a flight too far. And then I thought I would just take my daughter, who I can more easily travel with, and then I thought…I’m in a wedding…I need to focus on the wedding.

So, you can see a great deal of thought goes into the decision of “who can come on a big trip?” It’s not a clear decision when a family member has autism. There are many additional thoughts that have to be accounted for–can I get the food we need for the special diet? How much of the setting can I control? How exhausting will the actual travel be? As I had not taken this trip before, I didn’t feel that I could anticipate enough in advance to make this a smooth experience for my son or even my younger daughter. In the end, I went alone to my friend’s wedding and our kids went with my husband to visit his family.

Morrab Gardens, Penzance

And let me tell you, it is a strange experience to travel alone for the first time in 18 years. And yet, by taking this time to decompress in nature, at a friend’s joyful event, I have more internal space to approach a new school year, an important milestone birthday for my son and the recent passing of my mom with greater clarity and calm.

So while I am determined to get my son with autism to Cornwall (and the rest of my family!), I felt the first trip was a good scouting opportunity for me. I was able to see what parts are going to annoy him (the overnight flight may need to be broken up into two legs), the long train ride (again, may need side trips along the way) and the lack of gluten-free options in Cornwall, England. I’m sure the dining options are there amidst all the fish and chips and pub food, it’s just that I’ll need to do a better job finding them before my next trip across the pond.

If you have visited Cornwall and have suggestions for me and my son, feel free to leave us a comment. Brilliant!

Holiday Travel–Do’s and Don’ts

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When you’re traveling with autism, usually the holidays are not your best choice of travel dates. Today’s blog entry will be a good primer in what NOT to do when traveling with someone who has autism. As we left with little notice, we did not do our normal protocol of traveling–like researching food options at our destination and writing a social story for unexpected flight delays. We did pay attention to our son’s internal timetable though, and that’s the number one way to make trips a success.

For flights, I have always tried to book our air travel portion over weekdays and far from national holidays like Christmas. But, this past holiday season, it couldn’t be helped. Our son really wanted to visit his grandmother and requested this at the last moment. As our son rarely makes requests, we wanted to honor this.

We ended up booking the flight with only a week of notice, we got terribly expensive tickets, and packed at the last minute, not really getting him prepped or his food prepped properly for a trip out of state to a place where we were not familiar with the restaurant options.

The flights going to grandma’s were okay, but his main concern the entire trip was trying to get wifi. A new obsession for us to worry about is his need to get wifi access for his devices. In the past, we didn’t need to worry about this issue. So, this was a new stressor. I cannot say that we had a great plan, other than using our hotspot from our own phones to boost our son’s device. If you have a brilliant idea on this, please leave a comment!

For food, again we needed to have planned ahead better. Looking for gluten-free food when you’re traveling in the U.S. Deep South is not an easy feat. We found a Japanese/Thai fusion place that was not what I would call amazing food, but was edible and gluten-free, our only real concern. Again, we should have planned ahead better knowing the regional options for food.

However all is saved by staying in a hotel with a pool. Our son loves hanging out in hotels, so this is always a good thing on any vacation. For food at the hotel, he was able to find some gluten-free options but not any bread options as few hotels at their free breakfast bars have gluten-free bread. Again, since we traveled at the last minute, we did not do a good job of planning ahead. We should have packed a loaf of our own bread in our carry on.

He also only wanted to see his grandma for the day. He wasn’t there for a long trip. I’m not sure about other children with autism, but for our son, he is checking off a box mentally. Did he see you? If he saw you, then he has “visited” you. There is no sitting around for days chatting with him.

For our son to feel that the trip was successful, he wants to see you, spend a little bit of time answering your questions and then is ready for a restaurant and a museum or zoo! Something fun and visually appealing for him. Again, nothing that involves having to talk, but just looking at things together. That is a huge happiness for him.

And I think this is the most important point of traveling with someone with autism. What makes the trip a success TO THEM? Not to you, not to someone else, not to your relatives who will have expectations, but to the person with autism. Try to see the trip through their eyes. This will save you a lot of frustration.

Our son just needs to be doing something with someone, not sitting and talking for him to stay happy. He doesn’t have to be interacting like in a conversation. To him the shared experience IS the conversation.

When he’s ready to go, he’s ready to go. So, it’s back to the hotel. And then the next morning, he doesn’t want to see anyone, he’s just focused on getting on the airplane and heading home. He doesn’t maximize time with someone he loves, he just enjoys the time that makes sense to him to spend.

 

 

Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center

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On Black Friday, while millions were flocking to the malls and superstores for deals, my family relaxed at a beautiful Austin location–The Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center.

famgarden_nowopenImage from Wildflower.org website

The new “Luci and Ian Family Garden” is just wonderful. In fact, my son says it’s like “A Village of Wonder!” He could have stayed for a few hours which is really saying a lot because we normally just spend around 30 minutes at most places due to the usual cuprits–crowds, noise, or boredom. While we were there, he was wandering around and exploring and really grooving on the beauty of this new addition to the Wildflower Center. It’s “autism friendly” because there is just so much space to roam and no prescribed way that visitors are expected to interact with the park. This kind of natural setting + open areas = our most successful outings.

Also, as a bonus for the entire family, the Lady Bird Center boasts a restaurant. It’s small and quiet (perfect for keeping sensory overload at bay) and has several gluten-free options. Nothing specifically gluten-free, but there are options, like baked potatoes, salads and chicken dishes. From this limited menu, we were able to cobble together a very healthy meal for our son who is on the gluten-free, dairy-free diet that many kids on the spectrum live on.

On the Autism Friendly scale: Our family gives this family field trip location a BIG thumbs up for beauty, calm, and best of all, wonder.

Austin City Limits Music Festival

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My son, who is normally very afraid of loud noises, has asked if he can go to this year’s Austin City Limits Music Festival, known as ACL. I bought us two tickets. I have earphones. I have toilet paper (porta potties, yuck). What I don’t have is a plan.

I’m not even sure where to start. I’ve tried calling the ACL number listed on their website and it’s a recording for the music promoter that’s handling the ticket sales.

I need to talk to someone at ACL to see if they have some suggestions about how they accommodate people with disabilities at such a loud, crowded event. I’m really most concerned about the food issue, as my son is on a gluten-free and dairy-free diet for his autism. They search backpacks when you enter, so I can’t just waltz in there with his day’s food without talking to someone. Also, it would be ideal if he could hang out somewhere away from the music without having to leave, like a volunteer tent or something like that.

I know, I know, it sounds crazy to even try, but when my son wants to try something, I really go into action mode to make it happen. Perhaps we’ll get close to the gates and he won’t be able to manage the noise and crowds. Well, then, I guess this experiment was $180. I give him a lot of credit for even wanting to try.

My next steps are to call the City of Austin ADA department to see if they have any ideas. Do you have any suggestions, dear reader?

I’ll keep you posted.

Flying with Autism

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Air travel can be tricky, for anyone. It’s particularly difficult for children with autism, as the experience is completely out of their control, flights are delayed or worse canceled, and add in the noise and waiting, and you have a recipe for stress. That’s why I’m always a bit nervous when we fly. Not so much that I’m not willing to take big trips, but enough to where I have developed some travel routines when I fly:

  • I always check with my airlines about bulkhead seating 2 days before departure. This is the time when the airlines are assigning these seats. Bulkhead seats are typically, but not always, reserved for passengers with special needs.
  • I bring presents on board that are small, but fun, that will keep my children occupied, I give these out every 15 minutes for long flights. I have traveled with 20 presents before.
  • I introduce myself and my special needs child to the attendant when we board, so that possibly, they will know who we are if I need to request something.
  • I bring tons of headphones, videos, books, art materials, snacks, stuffed animals, and basically try to keep my children engaged the entire trip.
  • I have a story written with pictures that describes what we are going to do every step of the trip. (Google Carol Gray Social Stories for more information)
  • I hope for the best and plan for the worst. I have a first aid kit with me for minor health complaints. I don’t want my son crying in mid-flight because I didn’t have a band-aid on me.

We have been flying for years now, and except for one loud yell on a flight about 3 years ago that I think was related to a stomach ache, we’ve made it through hours of flights with no incidence.

Much of this is attributed to our work to prepare for the flights, but also, much of the experience is in the hands of the airline and the other passengers. If they’re helpful, we stay calm, if they’re rigid, we get nervous.

Our most recent flight was with American Airlines and they were absolutely great. We’ve also had good luck with Delta. I always call the airlines ADA number before the trip and list our son as disabled so that when we check in, they’re aware and allow us to pre-board.

I hope all of this information helps you on your next flight. What are some ways that you travel with your children with autism? I’m always looking for new ideas.

San Antonio Way

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As San Antonio is within an hour or so of our house, it is one of our favorite (and easiest) vacation destination. Each summer, if my son has “earned” it, through reaching his behavior goals (don’t tell him, but we arrange it to where he is always able to earn it!) we travel to a close-by hotel for a night away.

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La Cantera Resort, San Antonio, photo from Destinations Resorts

This summer, as with last summer, the travel fates smiled upon us and I was able to find a Groupon Coupon for a $149/night room mid-week at this gorgeous resort–La Cantera Resort, San Antonio. 

We swam, ate by the pool, took a beautiful nature hike on the hotel’s trails that wind around the golf course (NOTE: These trails are not ADA accessible.), and enjoyed a spa treatment. Yes, you read that correctly. My son requested a spa treatment “for a man” he said. So, we used the WoodHouse Day Spa services that are right on site. They were able to accommodate a child with special needs as long as I was present in the treatment room. My son chose a calming 30-minute hot oil scalp massage ($45). He was in heaven. It seems extravagant, but truly, it calmed him so much that it was worth it. Those of you with autistic kids know that calming their minds and bodies is a big part of the experience of parenting our special children.

We were able to secure a late check-out the next morning and then sadly said goodbye to our 24 hours of bliss at La Cantera. Hasta next summer La Cantera! 

Sleep Away Camp is a Dream Come True

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I never dreamed my son could manage sleep away camp. His autism used to impact him so severely that he wouldn’t leave our house for days at a time if there was cloud cover. He hated gray skies. And now, he was a part of a camp experience (as an inclusion camper with a 1:1 counselor) where every other week, they went out of town. And this camp was not special needs camp with specially trained counselors and an itinerary with sensitivity to autism. This was for typical children and wouldn’t have the kind of daily structure that his brain craves for a successful experience. But one day recently he said, “I want to go on the camp overnights.” Dumbstruck I asked, “How will you handle this?” And in a very nonchalant way he said, “I’ll be fine.”

I’ll Be Fine.

Oh my.

For years we’ve managed his every new experience, through writing social stories (copyright Linda Gray), prepping him, preparing his caregivers, having lots of options if Plan A doesn’t work out, you name it.

And now, in early teenage years, he’s telling us, he’s fine.

And he was. We held our breathe, packed him up and let him go. For days he had to wander around San Antonio doing what the group was doing, managing the sounds, the sites and the smells of a large group of middle school kids. None of whom had autism. My son was the camp’s first overnight camper with a disability. He is breaking barriers, and more importantly, changing hearts and minds about what people with autism are interested in doing. Autism for him means not talking to others much, but he likes to be with others. That’s his brand of friendship–presence.

The week wasn’t completely glitch-free. On the last night, the counselors, not trained in autism tantrums, accidentally made the group late for a concert that my son was excited to go to. When they were late, he threw a pretty big fit on the bus, but recovered once they arrived at the concert venue. I think the counselors learned, “don’t be late!” as a primary autism imperative when traveling.

When he triumphantly returned home, I asked, “How did you do that????!!!”

And he said, “I just stayed flexible and survived the heat.”

 

Everyone’s Surfing

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Surfing and autism have a unique history. There are some great special needs surfing programs around the country, mostly started by surfing parents who had children with autism and saw how much they loved the water.

My own son is no different. Of all of his phobias, the ocean is not one of them. He could live in the water. He will swim far far from shore, and I have to struggle to keep up. So, after reading stories of California surfing camps and not wanting to spend that kind of money to get there from Austin, I looked into my closest beach’s program–Port Aransas, Texas (also known as Port A). On a trip last year, I just grabbed a flyer from a tourist kiosk in the Port A grocery store and called them up to see if they could accommodate my son. They were friendly, helpful and really interested in helping my child try to learn to surf even given his huge motor deficits. He scores consistently in the fifth percentile for gross motor planning tasks.

When I asked my son what he thought about trying surfing, he said, “Sure.” So we arranged a private lesson at $80/hour. Pricey, but not expensive given that we drove to Port A and he would carry this memory for life. For the same price, they also included my typically developing niece in the lesson to give my son a chance to feel comfortable and also to help us get “two for one” value on our private lesson.

I tell you, things were a bit dicey in the beginning. My son had a hard time practicing on shore, where they like to start beginners and I thought he would quit before hitting the waves. But, once in the water, he was so happy and the instructor helped him so much that he was able to first “surf” on his belly on a wave all the way to shore and eventually was able to “knee surf” all the way to shore. He never was able to figure out how to stand up but he didn’t really care. He said, “I can knee surf!” and he was really excited about it.

He learned how to “Hang Ten” and we had a great beach memory.

Here’s how to contact the “Texas Surf Camps”. Call (361) 749-6956, or www.texassurfcamps.com. They have weeklong surf camps for typically developing children, but have been known to accommodate autistic individuals in the camps as well. The best way to figure it out is just to call them and speak to someone on staff about your child’s likes/dislikes and strengths/challenges.

If your child likes the water, I think they’ll like surfing. There is no feeling like cheering from the shore as your child smiles and struggles to surf. It was a beautiful day and a great memory. Worth 80 bucks!

Five great places to go right now

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We are so blessed in Austin with abundant outdoor opportunities. I hate to generalize, but I will…I think most people with autism are calmed by nature. I have never seen my son throw a tantrum when we are hiking or walking or skiing or doing something active in a gorgeous natural surrounding. I’ve had lots of tantrums in my house related to media–can I watch more TV, can I watch that inappropriate YouTube video, can I keep playing angry birds and on and on. Therefore, when the weather is pleasant in Central Texas (this means not summer), there are lots of ways to enjoy what Austin has to offer. Here are five of my favorite outdoor picks:

1) Town Lake Hike and Bike–it can be a bit overwhelming with the crowds on a gorgeous day, but I find that looking at the lake and wandering around on the trail allows my son to get some much needed exercise along with allowing us a chance to look at downtown buildings and huge river cypress trees in the same view. The trails are free and accessible from the north and south sides of the lake.

From The Trail Foundation website, a view on the Hike and Bike.

2) McKinney Falls State Park–Located close to Austin’s airport in Southeast Austin, sits a little gem of a state park, McKinney Falls State Park. I try to head out there with my son before the summer drought because we enjoy wading and playing in the water at the “lower falls” portion of the park. The upper falls are really beautiful, but the lower falls offer visitors the chance to splash and swim in the portion of Onion Creek that flows through the park. It’s so close to Austin, yet feels so far away. There is no easy access to the lower falls for handicapped visitors. My son is able to walk without assistance and so can make the 1/2 mile hike over the rock formations to get to the water feature. Other areas of the park are ADA compliant. There are 7 miles of trails within the park and many of these are paved. There is a daily admissions fee of $6/per person, 13 and older.

3) Bull Creek District Park–There are lots of places to explore trails and falls within this Northwest Austin park. Here is a good map of the entire trail from austinexplorer.com’s website. We stick to the north part of the falls for it’s serenity. There are lots of neat things to see here, lots of frogs, fish and turtles in the water. Free.

4) City Park Beach–I’m not sure if that’s it’s official name, but that’s what I call it. Probably the only beach in the world with a sticker burr problem, Austin’s Emma Long Metropolitan Park boasts an actual beach on the frigid waters of Lake Austin. For a recent spring break, I took my son here every day and he swam up and down in the chilly water, while I waded with teeth chattering. This is actually a great place to go in summer when the outside temperature makes swimming more palatable. Sitting on the dock is peaceful and serene. There are loads of campers here during the major holidays, but during the week, you can be entirely alone with nature and of course the huge houses that sit right across the lake. I wish the city had bought that land as well so the view would be completely naturalistic, but oh well. There is a per car admissions fee of $8.

5) Art Park–This is what my son and I call the grounds of the Austin Museum of Art at Laguna Gloria. We will sprint over here on a school day before it closes at 5 p.m. just to take a 30-minute walk on the grounds. We hardly ever go in the actual museum, well, because my son wants to touch everything, and that is pretty much frowned upon. We enjoy strolling the grounds while admiring Lake Austin, the gorgeous Italianate-style villa originally owned by Clara Driscoll and the variety of sculptural works dotted throughout the property. My son and I love going here. It’s calm and cultured. The grounds are free to wander.

The Zoo is a Zoo

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Spring break is always rough for my son. I’m pretty sure he fits the usual autism profile of needing year-round school (oh, one can dream) and structured down time. It gets exhausting as a parent to run a week-long camp for a child with a short attention span, but if you’re going to survive the school breaks, you’ve got to do it.

After our spring break devolved from a much-anticipated ski trip to Park City (lingering bronchitis caused me to cancel), then to a stay at a Hill Country resort outside of San Antonio (reservations messed up our reservation), we settled on going to the San Antonio zoo for one of the days.

The San Antonio Zoo is celebrating its 100th anniversary in 2014 and it’s undergoing a great deal of new construction. It would be gorgeous and interesting if most of San Antonio had not also descended on the zoo on a stunningly beautiful mid-70s temperature Tuesday during spring break.

I would recommend not taking people no the autism spectrum to this zoo during spring break. It doesn’t have nearly enough space for the wanderings that people on the spectrum usually need and everyone is packed in there pretty close. It’s a great concept for neurotypical folks who want to be immersed in the experience, but not so good if you have autism and can get overwhelmed as my son was for our two-hour tour.

The zoo’s layout breaks a few of the cardinal rules for the needs of autism–there is no escape from the labyrinth once you’re in it. The African exhibits are great, but there is no “out of Africa”. Once you’re in this exhibit, you’re stuck and have to go all the way through it to exit. One of my cardinal rules for autism travel is, “Always have an escape route planned.” And the San Antonio Zoo, though lovely and interesting for typical brains, doesn’t provide this kind of leaving and returning that an autism brain sometimes needs to calm down and regroup.

And on this outing, I broke one of my own cardinal rules for autism travel, “Don’t visit places on the busiest days/times.” The zoo was packed that day for good reason–the weather was great and it was a school holiday. I have learned and continue to learn that you cannot travel with autism when it’s most convenient but when you have the greatest chance for success.

Because sometimes the zoo can be a real, well, zoo.